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Nightmares
Nightmares, the opposite of dreams? Pardon me while I wax philosophic.
Everyone gets nightmares sometimes, the kind of thing that wakes you up out of an otherwise sound sleep with an overwhelming feeling of terror and makes you wish to never go to sleep again. Supposedly while we sleep our brain's have to digest the events of the day and to keep things going we dream. But when dreams turn to nightmares what relief does the solitary dreamer have in such a world where reality means nothing and control is already too far lost. Despite the supposed methods for being able to control one's dreams, I admittedly don't have the patience to practice it every night when I get nightmares so rarely.
Ever since I was little I had this nightmare about climbing a tree as high as I could go. Branches after branches. And sometimes it was thorny and I'd get cut but I'd keep climbing only to get to the top. And expecting to see all the world laid out before me instead I just found rocks and nothingness. And as soon as I started to settle in, I'd get attacked by all these crows. And even though I should normally be able to defend myself, I couldn't, so I'd start falling what seems like miles through the branches, getting cuts snaps and yet not dying, until finally I hit the rocks below. Only instead, I don't die or wake up, I just lay there... unable to move. And then along comes a um... animal...okay a wolf. shut up. and just when I think it'll help me, he sees the crows that knocked me down and basically seems to say it's my own fault and leaves me alone.
And THEN I wake up.
Anyways... I used to get that nightmare every so often for... jeez as long as I can remember. And I just got it two nights in a row now so basically... I can't sleep and I'm wondering if anyone else gets nightmares too or something or solutions. Or something.
[[ooc: 1/2 of it is a canon nightmare Fujiko mentions once to Jigen. The wolf and crows symbolism is from the show and I always that thought that was amazing. Anyways, trying something new with basically trying to have her forcibly show her weaker points in order to make her let people in more even though she's scared. The symbolism for anyone wishing to analyze is that she tries to climb the ladder of success and makes it to the top, but finds it's not to her expectations and it sucks, and then her own foibles and annoying aspects (the crows) knock her down. The wolf both represents herself and Lupin. It's the things she considers good about herself but that abandons her too when it sees basically she brought it upon herself and says symbolically, "you are the crows, that's all there is to you." Only the bad stuff, not the good. Fear of abandonement, fear of failing herself, fear of lovers not staying when she needs them because she's the one that fucked up, etc. Sorry if this annoying :| Just an attempt to show off her scared-side but still IC. fingers crossed for it working~]]
Everyone gets nightmares sometimes, the kind of thing that wakes you up out of an otherwise sound sleep with an overwhelming feeling of terror and makes you wish to never go to sleep again. Supposedly while we sleep our brain's have to digest the events of the day and to keep things going we dream. But when dreams turn to nightmares what relief does the solitary dreamer have in such a world where reality means nothing and control is already too far lost. Despite the supposed methods for being able to control one's dreams, I admittedly don't have the patience to practice it every night when I get nightmares so rarely.
Ever since I was little I had this nightmare about climbing a tree as high as I could go. Branches after branches. And sometimes it was thorny and I'd get cut but I'd keep climbing only to get to the top. And expecting to see all the world laid out before me instead I just found rocks and nothingness. And as soon as I started to settle in, I'd get attacked by all these crows. And even though I should normally be able to defend myself, I couldn't, so I'd start falling what seems like miles through the branches, getting cuts snaps and yet not dying, until finally I hit the rocks below. Only instead, I don't die or wake up, I just lay there... unable to move. And then along comes a um... animal...okay a wolf. shut up. and just when I think it'll help me, he sees the crows that knocked me down and basically seems to say it's my own fault and leaves me alone.
And THEN I wake up.
Anyways... I used to get that nightmare every so often for... jeez as long as I can remember. And I just got it two nights in a row now so basically... I can't sleep and I'm wondering if anyone else gets nightmares too or something or solutions. Or something.
[[ooc: 1/2 of it is a canon nightmare Fujiko mentions once to Jigen. The wolf and crows symbolism is from the show and I always that thought that was amazing. Anyways, trying something new with basically trying to have her forcibly show her weaker points in order to make her let people in more even though she's scared. The symbolism for anyone wishing to analyze is that she tries to climb the ladder of success and makes it to the top, but finds it's not to her expectations and it sucks, and then her own foibles and annoying aspects (the crows) knock her down. The wolf both represents herself and Lupin. It's the things she considers good about herself but that abandons her too when it sees basically she brought it upon herself and says symbolically, "you are the crows, that's all there is to you." Only the bad stuff, not the good. Fear of abandonement, fear of failing herself, fear of lovers not staying when she needs them because she's the one that fucked up, etc. Sorry if this annoying :| Just an attempt to show off her scared-side but still IC. fingers crossed for it working~]]
no subject
As far as some random research is concerned, crows would symbolize law and wolf would be your teacher. The tree could represent some kind of dangerous path you're determined to follow and law catches you in the end. Has the dream ever gone on past that?
no subject
The crows are law? And the wolf is my teacher... Hmm. Ah no, I usually wake up once the wolf leaves. He doesn't howl or attack or anything, just leaves. But if the tree is a dangerous path I follow... And the crows are law... Everyone said their nightmares had to do with their past so following that...
I don't know what the dangerous path might be but the crows could be the police and the wolf could be one of my ex boyfriends who took me in when the police were after me. And he sort of taught me about life on the run... but I left him not the other way around.
no subject
no subject
But... hm. The things I learned from him... Assassination, detecting poison, and that everyone will always betray you in the end.
Perhaps it's because I'm forgetting some of those things of late?
no subject
though I wonder if something is wrong since I haven't seen him around as of late.no subject
He'll come back. Maybe it's a test to see how well you'll do without him around?