Well first off. I figure he has to be okay or you wouldn't bother supporting him. But yes, I know what you mean. How did he save your life?

I guess just... prove themselves. A lot. ... A LOT A LOT. Jeez. It's kind of... hard. People don't... prove that I can trust them. They prove I can't. I mean... Jyabura... I don't trust him as much as I think I should. I know he won't hurt me because he needs me. And I'm way more useful to him alive and by his side and being his girlfriend. And I do believe he loves me so I can accept that. It... surprises me. A lot. But I believe it. So I guess I'd have to really be able to believe the person gets more out of having me alive than dead. And that they know it and won't mess it up. So that... it's not that they'd have to not have reasons to hurt me? They'd specifically have to have reasons not to hurt me.

Okay that sort of sounds like what Jigen and Goemon say when they say Lupin saved them.

It's not that they have to be worthy or want me I just... Jeez I don't want to trust anyone! Trust is pretty much the most dangerous weapon there is. People will always try to stab you in the back. Trusting them not to is just stupid. Jyabura's an exception because... I KNOW he deserves better. He doesn't deserve my mistrust but that doesn't mean I can just make it instantly go away. No one HAS to pass my tests or whatever but no one has to try to earn my trust either.

Lupin wouldn't betray Goemon or Jigen either... They can trust him. With good reason... But I can't. Jeez this is hard to explain.

Hm. Sometimes when we have smokes I just... watch how you react. To little things. Or like when you did the zombie Jesus joke with me! And even though people got mad you handled it really well! And even the thing I messed up between you and Ipin you worked it and explained it eventually even though I was just... not helping things. And you worked stuff out with Yamamoto too. And even things with your sister. You don't really run away from her even though I would have and that takes a lot of guts. I don't know. It's hundreds of things that add up and eventually I forget, I just remember that you passed.

Because they're his best friends. Lupin is something of an idiot sometimes. His best friend have both already tried to kill him. So he knows they basically... can't. Or they would have already. Or maybe that's smart of him. I don't really know. But me... I wouldn't try to kill him, I'd just do it. But he's still useful so I keep him around and in the end we both betray each other sometimes. So I can't trust him. I already know he'd leave me for another woman and he knows I'd steal his wallet and leave him stranded if he pissed me off enough. If I had to fight against a common enemy like nazis or some of the worst scum of the world, Lupin wouldn't be my first choice of ally but he wouldn't be my last. He's just... I could only trust him on somethings. And some of the important things not at all. If I set up a deal sometimes he'd honor our deal or sometimes something else came along. It's complicated.

You wouldn't believe how often I get told that. Um. Hm. Well even though lots of people didn't find it funny, you did, and you stuck with it. Which is sort of a stubborn quality I like and I like it when people see things through to the end because so many give up halfway. And I didn't mess things up with Lambo that badly... did I? I mean... he seemed to ... get over it... and... what do you mean I screwed myself over? He'll come back eventually... right? And the working stuff out with Yamamoto was part of that stubborn seeing things through to the end thing too.

As for good side... the only times I'm on your good side are by accident. So I don't try because I'd probably screw that up. It's actually another thing I like about you. Because I don't have to worry about trying to make you like me or worry that I have to do something TO make you like me because it won't change anything. It's like Killua. It's more comfortable because I can just do whatever and you'll make up your mind on your own no matter what I try so I don't bother trying. It's easier. It's relaxing.

Yeah. Like I said... it's complicated.

Oh. I guess I could see that! But... I hope he's ok. She stepped in? I thought other than her just trying to explain stuff to you did it on your own.

Nope. I'm pretty sure you'd indifferent. That you don't care one way or another. People... RARELY if ever like me and usually only if they want to sleep with me. Killua scares me sometimes but he doesn't seem to mind me too much or he'd do something to get rid of me. So it's more just that I figure I can't sway you so I don't have to bother trying.

Your independence from what?

Maybe. Now that he's here I have no idea what he's planning. I'd love to know so I can steal from him but that's probably why he's not telling. <3

Oh. Well it's good that she helped then. But you still had to do the main body of work fixing it.

Oh. Uh... really? Well... thanks. Jyabura said that too but I'm not sure. People usually get what I mean eventually but I sort of have to talk a lot before they get there.

... Everyone scares me a little. Even Lambo. Even Ipin. Killua is... he's got this... unknown quality. Which makes me jumpy. I can't get a beat on him sometimes. And I like him but he's still pretty scary.

To be fair, he was going to steal from me probably. And he usually did something to piss me off. Like ditching me for other girls.

Well yeah but. People don't always bother working it out. So...

Heh sorry about that. I guess.

Lambo is deceptively cute and secretly devious and evil.

Yeah and he should be used to me stealing. <3

Because they're cowards? Or idiots. I don't know. A lot of people give up trying.

Tch. He still might do it you know.

Lack of worse pain maybe. Like if you get beaten so many times and you know it's impossible, it's better to run.

Tch. You never know. It could happen.

Tch. We'll see.